Francesca Beard

The woman behind 'Chinese Whispers' and 'Animal Olympics' and our favourite poetic sparring partner. The Independent says she's 'witty and narcotic', we say she's tougher than she looks. She used to be in a band called Charlie Marlowe despite a dubious singing voice. She's appeared at Book Slam numerous times and is always rude about Patrick, which, frankly, we like.